Thoughts

Just watched the movie Law Abiding Citizen. Made me think. The main antagonist had a point but his anger and perseverance clouded his reason. He was incredibly angry. Somehow, I can relate to this. I bottle up so much anger that I don't know what to do when it surfaces. Its like this all consuming fire within me that just wants to beat the living shit out of everything that moves without any kind of remorse. I need to blow off some steam and get over recent events. If I don't I think I will go insane. I have these flashes in my head sometimes that play out certain scenarios. I know if I actually got into a fight I would probably get my ass handed to me on a silver platter but I can't help but imagine it sometimes. Its weird that whenever it plays out in my head, I am always in the right somehow and that worries me. I hope it doesn't mean I am going insane. It plays out like some narcissistic hero complex like most serial killers have. Maybe I am reading too much into it and maybe the reason I feel so righteous about it is because the people I am fighting in those flashes are the people I blame, consciously or subconsciously, for the bad things that have happened in my life. Arrests, debt, shitty friends, breakups, etc... I need to find an outlet. But maybe there are some validity to these thoughts. There is no use blaming people though. It won't fix anything.